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TNB Stream of Consciousness

“Tila ba bagong specie guro sa 21st century.”

– Titser ng Bayan

Noong narinig ko ‘tong kantang ito sa dulang “Titser ng Bayan” napangiti ako. Hindi dahil napaka-galing ng sumulat ng dula at na-manage niyang maglagay ng iba’t-ibang genre ng music sa dula, kundi dahil ang ngiting iyon ay isang alternatibo para ipakita na sumasangayon ako sa statement ng kanta.

Alangan naman tumungo ako, ang weird naman nun, diba?

Para sa akin, kung titignan mo ang mga guro noon at mga guro ngayon, ibang-iba na talaga ang dalawa. Pareho ang propesyon, magkaiba ng uri. Paano? TUMINGIN KA NGA KASI OMG. De, joke lang.

Dati, panahon pa ni Rizal, ang mga guro ay parang mga tanga; masama, akala nila sila lang ang superyor, mapang-mata at kung ano-ano pang kasamaan ang taglay nila.

Ngayon, ang mga guro, lalo na sa elementarya at hayskul, alalang-alala na sila sa kanilang mga estudyante. ‘Anak’ pa nga ang tawag nila sa mga estudyante nila e.

Ngunit ngayon kolehiyo kaya? Kamusta na ang mga guro ng 21st century?

May ibang ganun din, tulad ng sa elem at HS, mabait, maalahanin sa estudyante. Pero iba e. Hindi sila kasing maaalahanin tulad ng mga dati naming mga guro. Gusto nila kaming turuan ng ‘independence.’ O sadya bang tamad lang silang mag-turo? Gusto nila kaming turuan ng ‘resourcefulness.’ O sadya bang wala silang maibigay samin na reference at maayos na instructions? Gusto nila kaming turuan ng ‘responsibility.’ O sadya bang bossy lang silang lahat?

Alam ko kasi, objective ang lahat ng bagay sa buong mundo. Nasa sa atin yan kung paano natin babasahin ang isang simpleng kilos ng isang tao. Hindi ito pagiging paranoid or judgmental.

Pagiging open minded ito.

Hindi tayo makukulong sa isang simpleng depinisyon ng isang bagay. Titignan natin ang kahulugan nito; ng mga ito. Tinignan nating and totoong kahulugan nito.

Paano nga ba talaga naging ibang specie ang mga gurong ito?

Bukod kasi sa pagtatapos ng Education sa kolehiyo. Tila baga nagtapos din sila ng iba pang mga kurso.

Education + Marketing = Titser na nagbebenta ng kung ano-ano. Mapa-silver man yan, Avon Products o kakanin. Meron sila lahat niyan. Ang iba pa nga e, required daw umorder sa kanila ng tone-toneladang handmade crafts.

Education + Theology = Titser na kahit anong ituro, mashi-shift at mashi-shift parin ang tinuturo nila sa Poong Maykapal. Hindi naman sa galit ako kay Hesus, kailangan po kasi talaga naming matuto ng kung ano naman talaga ang subject niya.

Education + Creative Writing = Titser na imbis lesson ang ituro, autobiography niya ata ang nailagay sa syllabus niya. Ewan ko ba. Funny and inspiring naman. Pero nga-nga estudyante kapag midterms na e.

Education + Behavioural Science = Ito naman ‘yung uri ng titser na kung sino ‘yung bida-bida, pasikat at epal sa klase, siya ang paborito niya. MAY GHAD. Favouritism, magsama kayon dalawa. ‘Wag kami, pls.

Education + Law = ‘Yung mga titser tila ba me pinaglalaban. At nakasalalay ditto ang buhay at dignidad nila sa pinaglalaban nila. Ito ang pinaka-ayaw kong uri ng titser. ‘Yun bang kahit mali sila e, nakooooooooooo, kahit na libro o Presidente ng Pilipinas sasabihin niyang mali kahit tama naman talaga sila.

 

Iilan pa lamang yang mga yan sa mga titster na mukhang me sapak sa mga ulo nila. Pero kahit anong mangyari, love ko parin sila. Kasi, nag-aattempt silang pasahan kami ng kaalaman tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay.

Kung ibang specie na ang mga guro ng 21st century, siguro naman pati ang mga tinuturuan nila, mag-iiba din, hindi ba? Pwede. Pero ibang topic na ‘yun.

Stream of consciousness: Last year, my friend asked me to write an essay for this class she have.

Her topic is music and how she can relate to it so much and stuff.

I know it’s wrong to pass someone else’s work, but she asked me for help and she has a lot of other shit on her plate. SHE’S ALSO ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE I MET IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT KEPT ME FROM OFF-ING MYSELF. So yea, I failed her and gave this three-paged ramble. She said she loves it and it really looks like she wrote it. The next day, she messaged me on Facebook telling that her professor read it out loud. Oh dear god.

NOTE: You will see my point about limbo and overthinking in this essay. Just look on how messed up and unconnected that crap is.

Press “Play” to Eject

“Take me away, a secret place. A sweet escape, take me away. Take me away to better days. Take me away, a hiding place.” – Pocket Full of Sunshine, Natasha Beddingfield

Do you ever get that moment where you feel so sad that you just want to lock yourself in a room, turn up the music and cry? Once in our lives, we do. And that’s fine. Well, how about those days where you look in the sky, put your headphones on, and happily skip the hell to school? You know those days. Sometimes, you choose the music that goes with your mood, but most of the times, the music does the choosing. Amazing isn’t it? You can’t even see or feel it yet, it can predict what you’re going to feel like.

One of the amazing wonders of music.

When I’m alone, I always imagine. I don’t think, I imagine. There’s a huge difference between the two. However, that is not my topic in this essay. What I’m about to talk about for the next 798 words or more is how I imagine things when I’m alone and how I use music as an outlet to get back in my comfort zone.

When I think, I don’t just think and remember stuff by myself, I wander off. I go to places I would like to be to and situation where I could do what I want or things I could’ve done instead of what I actually did. But most of the times, I think of the future; of what might be. What might become of me, my job, my family, friends and all that. Then I start to overthink, I start to wander off some more. I let my subconscious self take over. I am now in places and thoughts beyond my control. And then I begin to question, why? Why is it like this? Why is this like that? Why? Why? Why?

At the end of the day, I have to admit to myself that all these is a product of one thing, fear. To be more specific, fear of the unknown. As humans, we are programed to always be curious. Of course, we don’t know anything. And I once read somewhere, “Knowledge is power.” If curiosity kills a cat well I think asking is a sure ticket to being murdered. So instead of asking people, I ask myself. And I hate myself for that. Because I always do that and I always end up in one place: nowhere.

I couldn’t get a grip; couldn’t get my shit together. It’s like I’m in an endless limbo. And I am letting myself enjoy it. Most of the times, I snap it off. Breathe. Go outside and BE NORMAL. But sometimes, I dive in the sea of confusion and worry, full on armour. And by armour I mean my phone and earphones.

I put my headphones on and I’m in another world. I’m in the worry-less world but I still know I have things to worry about. It’s like, being in a party and having fun but you’re wearing that backpack full of BS of your own life. I try. I try to snap out of it but sometimes it’s just too hard. Just too hard to escape the thoughts, the worries. Too hard to escape, from myself.

So instead, I try to live with it.

However, running from my fears won’t make me live. Living in them isn’t living at all, either. So what I do is I solve them. But before that, I have to be happy first. Happy people solve problems faster than average. I watched it in a YouTube video once.

Comfort zone. A place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress. MY happy place. Now, that’s very simple. My happy place is any place that has my phone and earphones in it. On it. In it? On? In? I don’t really care about grammar at this point, this essay just got excited.

Music.

How can I begin describing the best thing on earth? They say you are what you eat, I can’t be the best thing on earth because I can’t eat music. Even if I tried. I want to be free from my own thoughts. And I can’t do that. I want to solve my problems. That, I can do. I want to be happier. Possible. But what will be the outlet of my feelings? Yes, music. Dur.

In every genre people play, a different mood sets in. But with me, it’s different. Whatever genre I play, as long as it’s music, I’m in a good place. Why? Let me tell you why. I feel that, in a way, the song I play is my story. It speaks the truth I dare not to reveal to the world. It says exactly how I feel, like words taken from my mouth. It’s the companion I have when my eyes are closed and I’m in this never-ending road to the unknown. It’s the only thing I have that cannot be taken away from me even if they tried.

Because it lives inside me. I feed off it.

Obviously, I’ve lost track of what I’m talking about at the beginning of the essay. See my point earlier? Even in writing I could be lost. I could be taken over the random stuff that’s popping in my mind. But let me try to pick up the pieces and be back.

Let’s start again.

Whenever I’m alone, I tend to think a lot. I think about my future and then overthink. Then I start to question stuff. Asking for reasons and why things are as is. Then I realize my fear of the unknown. And how curious I am. Then I am nowhere. I try to fix my problems because I don’t want to worry anymore. But before anything else, I must be happy first, and that is that music does to me. It brings me happiness.

I’m not the kind of person who has this person that I can always call when I’m having a bad day. But I do have this one thing that I can always count on making me feel better. I think we all know what that is, at this time. Earlier I talked about music and outlets and stuff. Well, I write my own songs. This is the part where you shake your head because a part of this essay finally makes sense. I forgot which part, go figure.

My band is a huge help in this part for they are one with me in this topic. They make me happy because they are the constant reminder that I’m not alone with this music thing. That there are people like me. We all have parts here, I play the guitar. And when we go to gigs and concerts or summat, I feel so alive. Like, all the blood running through my veins are high and alive. My favourite happy place.

I usually don’t have a favourite type of music because music is music, ya know? But if I do have to choose one, it would definitely be rock. Because it has its own variations. Like a whole new set of kinds of music within a kind of music. Like everything else in encapsulated this genre.

Maybe I am not perfect, and I have my own bag of bull inside my head. And it’s fine. Makes me sure that I’m normal. And that I’m just as sane as everyone else. Music being my comfort zone is cool, too. It shows that I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t need a guy by her side. Because I know how to dance myself. It shows that I am independent. Strong.

And by music, I now just realized, I know there are people like me. I know someone understands me; knows how I feel, thinks the way I do, share the same experiences as mine. I realized that I am not too weird for my own kind. Or too emo. (Well, maybe I can be sappy dramatic, but I’m NOT too emo. One cannot be too emo even if they tried.) I realized that I am human.

So…. That’s me. My worries and thoughts. I just discussed, ever so eloquently, my opinions and comfort zone and everything in between. Now I’m gonna ask you. What’s your view on this?

what the actual fuck is this crap

My friend asked me to write an essay for his English class.


Did you know that when we solve math problems the Intraparietal sulcus part of our brain is the one functioning? While when we fall in love it is our frontal cortex who does the work. That’s just one reason why academics and romantic relationships between students cannot be fused with each other.

The principle of academics is simple; that is to learn things that you will use into the job that you want. Together with the things that are extremely stress-inducing and will make you want to quit life. It may look like this is very similar to the principle of love but it’s obvious, they are two different things.

The principle of relationships, especially to students like us, for me, is just to have someone who will be there for you and you will be there for that person too. Of course, that together with the things that are endorphin-inducing that makes you want to be that person 24/7. I think by now, you should have seen the difference between those two.

Let’s keep this simple: No one likes school as much as they want to be in a relationship because of the points given above.

The reasons why these two cannot be with each other should start making an opaque appearance in your common sense by now. However if not, let’s proceed.

How do we cope with school? Cope…. It’s a big word. Let’s try handle. How do we handle school and love?

In school, no matter how much we don’t want to admit it, we’re just doing it to survive. Because our parents want it. Because in looking for jobs, skills is not a requirement; a diploma is. One of the reasons why this is stress-inducing is because we are so stressed out about it. Why? Projects here, homeworks there, requirements everywhere!

We only have one body and too much work. Too much work in 24 hours. 24 hours to bathe, eat, get the eight hour sleep requirement, talk to friends and family, travel- to and from- school and everything in between. We can make adjustments so we can do everything while doing work but at the end of the day, when we were faced with the choice of hang out or homeworks, we’ll choose the one that will not bring us stress.

I don’t really think I need to go over the principle of love because it’s subjective but let’s do a quick run-down.

It’s self-satisfactory. It pumps out oxytocin from our brain to everywhere in our body; a chemical known to make us feel good and perfect and all that. We have assurance that we have enough “stock” for our emotional and social needs. We have someone adoring us, we have that person we adore; and we all know it’s a good picture for everyone.

I’m not demonizing school to you people, I’m just saying what I see and in this angle of school and love, school is…. don’t even get me started. From its principles to the way we react to them, up to all the way on how we deal with these, love and school is definitely a match made in hell that’s surely gonna flunk. Unless it’s a romantic relationship with your studies; which is weird as heck. It’s easy, water is school, we need it but there are things that are better like, workshops or sodas. And love is oil, we don’t understand it that much yet it is fundamental in life. And just like oil and water, both needed in life but can’t just can’t join each other.

(more…)

Teatro Komunikado’s MAZKARA FESTIVAL: Ang ikalabingtatlo sa ikalabinglima

Teatro Komunikado is the premiere theater and production organization of the PUP College of Communication. It’s been their annual tradition to present three plays in one night, to celebrate their anniversary; they call it, Mazkara Festival.

Now, on their 13th year, in line with their preparation for their 15th anniversary, they’re presenting MAZKARA FESTIVAL: Ang ikalabingtatlo sa ikalabinglima. Featuring the plays, Ang Kalupi, The World is an Apple and Lotto Ticket.

Throughout the year, TK has shown not only our college, but the entire university that they really make things that are worth talking about. From events they’ve manned to performances that blew our mind, (I mean who can forget their number in our college orientation? Uh-mazing.) to the horror maze, (a literally) blind date booth and “Gabi ng Monologo” The creative juices behind those experiences, well, how could I put it? They did it again!

kalupi

Ang Kalupi

The old tale by Benjamin Pascual brought to life. Amazing ensemble and the one who played “Aling Choleng” seems to have been born for the part. Everything here was flawless from the music (which was perfectly timed) to the props, lights, costume. Everything fell perfectly into place. Kudos!

to kuya gelo: it didn’t look like tdr okay. hahahaha

apple

The World is an Apple

A heavy drama by Alberto Florentino. Perfect casting!! All the feels was put into this play and you can really see that the cast were trained really good to be able to play the characters. I can’t say anything else to this because it’s so amazing. Well, I can say one thing tho, I may or may not have shed a tear just before the lights went out. It’s that good.

lotto

Lotto Ticket

This comedy by Anton Chekov made me (and the everyone in the theater) laugh out loud! For reals! IRL LOL-ing!! (Hahaha.) The set of actors (because there were three shows and some roles got understudies) I got to watch deserves a standing ovation for their spectacular performance.

I love, love, looooooooove the show and they all deserve the praise and fans they’re are getting and so much more. The show was magnificent and colorful. I know that most of the cast are freshmen and they’re all promising. The organization is absolutely going to higher grounds.

Cheers to Teatro Komunikado! Here’s to more awesome projects from you, guys. 🙂

School’s Evacuation Plan

If you notice, there are these papers pasted in the hallways and stairs; yes, I am talking about the one with arrows and boxes. That’s the school’s evacuation plan. The instructions we will follow in case of emergencies like fire, earthquake, etc. That is the plan that everybody has to know. The question now is, does everybody know? Let’s make it smaller, does the majority know about this?

I conducted a survey regarding this topic, looks like most of the students are aware that we have an evacuation plan.  However, when I gave them an example scenario, they quite do not know what to do. Then I finally realized the difference between knowing and being aware.

Yes, we all see the posters and fire extinguishers but students say they are not properly discussed or oriented about it. What are we supposed to do with those things? They know a bit, but “a bit” cannot save your life in urgent situations. They kept saying that there are cases for fire extinguishers but the actual thing is not there. There are emergency buttons to push but are they working? There are diagrams posted all over the campus that is not practiced, not even once a quarter. Bottom line, they are saying: “We notice the efforts but what are we supposed to do with it?” Well, you know ‘children’ especially today’s teenagers, we need to be spoon fed! (Well, I can only speak in behalf of the people I interviewed)

The survey included a question that asks how the school administration will feel if they knew that the efforts they are doing are not enough or is not taking effect on students. Most of the people I asked said, hurt, sad, disappointed and everything in that neighborhood. Well, I must say, that is what I thought too.

After asking the students, I went to the person behind all of this, Mrs. Brito. I was originally asked to interview Mr. Noel Delos Reyes but he redirected me to her. I asked the same questions, (well except the one mentioned earlier, of course) and I got different results. What are those? Common sense, yo! The twist in her set of questions was showing her the students’ reaction concerning this matter.

Mrs. Brito said that the students were wrong and the plan and emergency precautions was discussed twice; first was by the MAPEH teacher and second was by the MAPEH student teachers. Uhh, let me think, I personally have three absences this year and what are the odds that the topic was discussed those days? Furthermore, was more-than-50-students were absent in those same days? I don’t think so.

This article is not made to attack the school administration. For me, this is a reaction poll, kind of. They, school ad, were thinking they were doing a good job in lodging the evacuation plan throughout the school but this is the truth. It hurts, I know but it is. And there is nothing nobody can do about it.

So if you notice, there are these papers pasted in the hallways and stairs; the one with arrows and boxes. That’s the school’s evacuation plan. The instructions we will follow in case of emergencies like fire, earthquake, etc. That is the plan that everybody has to know. The question now is, does everybody know? Better question is, will you let yourself stay in the stage of not knowing?